"To help men’s mental health in the workplace, we need to create psychologically safe spaces where men can express authentic thoughts and feelings AND listen to others."
~ Steve Hobbs
Hello!
International Men's Day is just around the corner, as is our 6th Masculinity in the Workplace event.
Our coach, Steve Hobbs, has been working with organisations exploring the experience of men in the workplace and how to engage them in D&I. So in this week's newsletter, Steve is going to share some of his thoughts on the subject...
"Only 31% of UK employees feel the majority of men are engaged in D&I.
There are many reasons for this, but one is that a number of men (who are less likely to share thoughts and feelings) fear mistakenly saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and being judged as patriarchal and being “cancelled”.
This a problem, but what can we do?
The Office of National Statistics report;
- People are continuing to have children later, at a time when women have more established careers and men might be re-evaluating theirs.
- Since the pandemic, men are spending more time at home.
- The most common domestic working arrangement is now for both partners to be working full-time (rather than men full-time, women part-time).
The traditional male provider role that has been a cornerstone of men’s social programming is being challenged. At home, men take more responsibility for childcare and household work. At work, greater gender equality means men are less likely to be the “breadwinner”.
Now, we are aware that men, especially white men, have historically enjoyed the benefits of privilege and that these are choices that men are consciously making, so this is far from a “woe is men” story. This is about understanding the dynamics so we can all strive for a more equal society.
One significant dynamic within this it eh speed of change - it is happening in the space of a single generation. Our parents had more traditional roles so we lack role models from the past and there are still very few contemporaries to learn from. Even if there were, men aren’t very good at sharing anyway!
However, when men DO share their thoughts and feelings we learn that they can feel;
- Invisible. As a carer, society assumes that women are the main carer and often ignores men. As a working parent, cultures assume that, as there are no biological changes for men, everything else is just the same as before (it isn’t).
- Isolated. The need to display strength and hide weakness persists, leading to loneliness.
- Threatened. By changes to their sense of masculinity, as their role as provider diminishes.
These feelings mix to form a lethal cocktail that challenges men’s mental health, a concern for society for some time.
Men are encouraged to talk and are getting better, particularly OUTSIDE of the workplace, but at work there is still a sense that vulnerability is a weakness and that weakness will be exploited.
In D&I, we talk about allyship. Allies need to be open to other’s struggles and champion them. That requires a high degree of emotional capacity, and exhaustion from battling your own emotions does not easily allow that.
To help men’s mental health in the workplace, we need to create psychologically safe spaces where men can express authentic thoughts and feelings AND listen to others, recognising that no two men or experiences, irrespective of inter-sectional dynamics, are the same.
We have been doing just that with a number of our clients and have heard some incredibly insightful and relatable stories. We are also seeing men engage in ways (and numbers) like never before. Time will tell, but men that engage are more likely to be effective allies and become the relatable role models that future generations of men require, leading to more equality for everyone."
~ Steve Hobbs